This Channel Should Be Available Shortly

Topic(s): me,computers
2006-08-28 02:15:34 PDT

I got a check from Bill today. Mr. Gates wrote me a check for a cool $61.

Well, not a check exactly. I have to submit a receipt showing that I spent $61 on any computer-related item, and in return I should receive a check.

This is because the state of California sued Microsoft on anti-trust abuses. Microsoft settled in July of 2003.

I submitted my claim in July of 2004, showing that I had purchased Windows 98, Windows 2k, Microsoft Office, and Microsoft Visual Studio.

Twenty-five months to rubber stamp a claim seems excessive, but then again Windows XP debuted in 2001. So 25 months is pretty good, comparatively. Though I wonder if my bank's computer system will blue screen when I deposit it.

I mean, how could the bank's programmers ever take into consideration that I'd be getting money from Bill Gates? Clearly, that's got to throw an exception or two.

Different topic...

Any time you've got to deal with the cable company, you know it'll take twice as long as it should.

I've been using Google's city-wide free wireless internet access for a month now. It's great. I love it. There's no sense in paying $45 per month when a product of comparative worth is completely free. So, I decided to cancel my cable modem internet connection contract.

Now, if you call into Comcast's phone bank, you're presented with a five-item menu: billing, problem reports, add service, remove service, and everything else.

It's just my empirical data, but if you select "remove service" it seems the outcome isn't good.

Usually, you're put into a queue whose operators are perpetually "helping" other customers. (And by "helping" they probably mean "not helping.")

I gave up on the queue, and went through the "add service" menu option. I was not put into a queue at all - I had an operator within ten seconds. Being the sneaky guy I am, I asked that person to remove my cable modem service. To which she responded by forwarding my call to what she described as the "retention department."

In that phone queue, all I got to hear was musac, and the assurance that all the operators were busy helping other customers. After ten minutes in that queue, the retention department spontaneously disconnected my call. Rats! No joy.

The next day, I called back in to the "add service" menu option. Once again, no queue. I ordered a digital video recorder. I picked it up the same day.

I plugged in the new digital box with the DVR, and noticed the channel quide was all messed up. Where sports channels should be, I had second-rate movies from the 80's. Where movie channels should be, I had a black screen with the text "this channel should be available shortly."

Now, I don't have high expectations for television programming, especially NBC. But they're cutting it pretty close to the bone when "this channel should be available shortly" makes up the entirety of their prime time programming.

I called in, and this time I selected the "problem reports" menu option. (No queue this time.) The operator told me my new digital box needed a firmware upgrade. We went through that process, and now my digital box shows no channels at all. Just black screens.

Bleh. I want my "this channel should be available shortly" back!

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